I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
