I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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