3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
