Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
