Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
