Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
