im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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