It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
