oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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