I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
