dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
