David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
