i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize