Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
