then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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