I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and she was petting her beer can
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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