there was a trapeze. enough said
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
