We're facebook friends in real life
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
