whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
