I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
