i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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