We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
