U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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