What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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