where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
