its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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