Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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