I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
