please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
