This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
