I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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