Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
