508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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