I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
