M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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