Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
