remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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