if i died would you start the facebook group?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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