Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
