he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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