dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
