Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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