I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
