Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is Oprah even human
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
