everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
