Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
