i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
