it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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