All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
