Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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