Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
