Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
