Can Purell be used as lube?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize