I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
