So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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