now i know why i became what i already was.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
