How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
