Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
40s are totally the cure
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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