Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
