Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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