It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
