Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
