okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
