Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
