i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
