I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
