i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
