He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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