No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
ok first of all what the fuck
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
