I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
