doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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