i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
