if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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