what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
