You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize