Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
