You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
